Choose recovery,
Choose recovery again,
And again,
And again, and again, and again, and again.
Productivity culture will deceive you (especially if you are particularly high-functioning or a former Gifted Kid) into thinking that any use of your time that can’t be monetized or leveraged for your personal advancement is worthless, and I’m here to tell you that’s the devil talking. Do shit because you like it.
WHOA.
I now see why I struggled with showing my interests to my parents when I was a kid.
I’m listening to my cousin going on about Fortnite. The kid adores the game and is talking about the battle pass and he how hopes to get it later on today.
My mum just flatly says she doesn’t know what that means and has told him to hurry up as they go through the door, not giving my cousin any wiggle room to explain what it means. Fortnite is special to him, he wants to talk about it, he wants to engage but how can he when at that moment, the adult he’s talking to shuts him down?
Why can’t some people just take a damn minute to listen, REALLY listen to what kids are saying? He’ll now sit in the car in complete silence because his aunt isn’t interested in what he likes.
I’m not saying everyone has to be a fountain of knowledge for things like that. Hell, you don’t have to like what another person’s into but for the love of god, at least TRY and give it a go in understanding why it’s so important to that person.
“Oooh, that sounds neat! Tell me about it?” Is one of the best things you can say to a kid. (Or an author.) It matters less that you understand it than it does that they are allowed- are *encouraged*- to explain it
And also, if you’re truly lost:
“I’m not sure what that is, can you explain it to me?”
Kids LOVE getting to tell an adult something the adult doesn’t know. It makes them feel important because hey, we’re grownups! We know everything! Wait, we don’t? Wow! Let me tell you!
also if you’re like me you’ve had your family just up and say everything you like is stupid and that’s like. the worst possible thing please just fuckin listen to kids
I didn’t even realize I was getting shut down as a kid until I read this. Thank god I have therapy in a couple of days - this was eye opening.
A long time ago I took a course on the sociology of marriage and my professor said “With compromise, you both lose. As a couple, you must collaborate on the best possible outcome.” Ever since, I never prioritize compromise in a relationship, only collaboration.
sometimes i hate being so sensitive because i’m hurt a lot by what people say to me, but i wouldn’t give up my sensitivity for the world because i feel like i see the world in such an intense, beautiful way…like just a picture, a look on someone’s face, a color, a few notes of my favorite song, pretty words, even just a concept…they can evoke such intense feelings in me that i feel like my heart is gonna burst open. anyone get this feeling???
may 2019 bring you your “i’m doing better than i ever was” moment
Ten core principles necessary for the remodeling of your brain to take place:
1. Change is mostly limited to those situations in which the brain is in the mood for it.
If you are alert, on the ball, engaged, motivated, ready for action, the brain releases the neurochemicals necessary to enable brain change. When disengaged, inattentive, distracted, or doing something without thinking that requires no real effort, your neuroplastic switches are “off.”
2. The harder you try, the more you’re motivated, the more alert you are, and the better (or worse) the potential outcome, the bigger the brain change.
If you’re intensely focused on the task and really trying to master something for an important reason, the change experienced will be greater.
3. What actually changes in the brain are the strengths of the connections of neurons that are engaged together, moment by moment, in time.
The more something is practiced, the more connections are changed and made to include all elements of the experience (sensory info, movement, cognitive patterns). You can think of it like a “master controller” being formed for that particular behavior which allows it to be performed with remarkable facility and reliability over time.
4. Learning-driven changes in connections increase cell-to-cell cooperation which is crucial for increasing reliability.
Merzenich explains this by asking you to imagine the sound of a football stadium full of fans all clapping at random versus the same people clapping in unison. He explains, “The more powerfully coordinated your [nerve cell] teams are, the more powerful and more reliable their behavioral productions.”
5. The brain also strengthens its connections between teams of neurons representing separate moments of successive things that reliably occur in serial time.
This allows your brain to predict what happens next and have a continuous “associative flow.” Without this ability, your stream of consciousness would be reduced to “a series of separate, stagnating puddles,” explains Merzenich.
6. Initial changes are temporary.
Your brain first records the change, then determines whether it should make the change permanent or not. It only becomes permanent if your brain judges the experience to be fascinating or novel enough or if the behavioral outcome is important, good or bad.
7. The brain is changed by internal mental rehearsal in the same ways and involving precisely the same processes that control changes achieved through interactions with the external world.
According to Merzenich, “You don’t have to move an inch to drive positive plastic change in your brain. Your internal representations of things recalled from memory work just fine for progressive brain plasticity-based learning.”
8. Memory guides and controls most learning.As you learn a new skill, your brain takes note of and remembers the good attempts, while discarding the not-so-good trys. Then, it recalls the last good pass, makes incremental adjustments, and progressively improves.
9. Every movement of learning provides a moment of opportunity for the brain to stabilize – and reduce the disruptive power of – potentially interfering backgrounds or “noise.”
Each time your brain strengthens a connection to advance your mastery of a skill, it also weakens other connections of neurons that weren’t used at that precise moment. This negative plastic brain change erases some of the irrelevant or interfering activity in the brain.
10. Brain plasticity is a two-way street; it is just as easy to generate negative changes as it is positive ones.
You have a “use it or lose it” brain. It’s almost as easy to drive changes that impair memory and physical and mental abilities as it is to improve these things. Merzenich says that older people are absolute masters at encouraging plastic brain change in the wrong direction.
Rather than focusing on losing weight in 2019, let’s think about what we can gain. What can you add to your life to make it more satisfying? What new practices would make you happier and feel better? Consider some of these healthy resolutions for the new year:
- Get more quality sleep
- Eat vegetables at every meal
- Wash your bed sheets regularly
- Meditate
- Spend more time outside
- Actually eat your fruit before it goes bad
- Get back in touch with old friends
- Bring your own bags when grocery shopping
- Don’t watch tv or use the computer during meals
- Support local farms and food producers
- Take vitamins
- Learn to knit or sew
- Stretch and improve your flexibility
- Volunteer to register voters
- Concentrate on improving your posture
- Make doctor and dentist appointments regularly
- Cook and prepare lunch instead of relying on processed foods
- Replace your toothbrush
- Clean your kitchen and dishes after each meal
- Stop biting your nails
- Compliment someone every day
- Regularly donate unworn and ill-fitting clothing to a local shelter
- Wear sunscreen every day you’re outside
- Clean your pantry and throw out expired food each month
- Quit smoking
- Explore local museums and parks
- Put your laundry away
- Get an eye exam and update your prescription
- Cut down on the amount of plastic you use each day
- Re-try foods that you hate, but haven’t eaten in years
- Delete a social media account
- Moisturize and remove your makeup before going to bed
- Attend town hall meetings
- Keep a journal
- Floss
Focus on changing your behavior instead of changing your body, and then every step will be a step forward.
“Athletes train and eat, they don’t exercise and diet.”—
Phil Stevens
This is so important.
(via faithhealthlife)
this is a battle i constantly have to choose to fight with myself
no offense but why can’t more people be gentle to one another
u can tell how artificial my attraction to men is by the great lengths i go to when it comes to flirting like… i’ll text and text and think of strategies and stuff while when i like a girl i’m like… i’ll look at her in the eyes the next time i see her and then we’ll see
don’t make other people’s decisions for them. apply for the job you don’t think you’ll get. let them decide if you have the skills they’re looking for. tell that person you like them even though you think they’re out of your league. let them decide if they like you. stop trying to predict and control everything. bring what you have to the table. let the rest go.
